LA Spelled Backwards Is AL

On Friday afternoon I hung out with my friend Tony and his partner Michael. Tony and I met years ago at a friends party. All day people kept introducing us. It became a running joke... "Hey, it's very nice to meet you... again!" Knowing my affinity for a good dog they took me to one of L.A.'s most enduring wiener landmarks... Pink's. Located near the corner of Melrose and LaBrea, Pink's is a family owned business that has been serving hot dogs and burgers since 1939. Customers can opt for traditional fare but I wanted something a bit more unusual. To be perfectly honest I was not prepared for the meal that awaited me. We got in line (there's always a line) and perused the menu. After a not insignificant amount of painstaking deliberations I settled on The Spicy Ozzy Dog (spicy Polish dog, nacho cheese, american cheese, grilled onions, guacamole, and chopped tomatoes) and Pink's tribute to David Hasselhoff... the Ultimate Hoff Dogg (two stretch dogs in a single bun, mustard, Swiss cheese, pastrami, and sauerkraut... surprisingly, no ham). We sat down and before taking a bite a woman at the next table asked if she could photograph our lunch. Can't say I blame her. It was a feast for the eyes as well as the stomach. The food? Man oh man it was yummy! Tony said the locals take their dogs seriously. Opinion is hotly divided as to the best in town. There are those who would quickly dismiss Pink's in favor of their particular favorite. In my humble opinion, much like dirty movies, there are only degrees of good.



With stomachs stretched to the limit and battling the summer heat, we pressed onward. We took a photo under the ultra famous "Hollywood" sign then cruised Melrose Ave to browse the shops. At one point I was assaulted by a giant lobster in front of an antique store... I survived but remained shaken for hours. A bit later we stopped at a vintage clothing store where Tony took interest in an old denim jacket. The price? Take a seat folks... 400 bucks! The woman at the shop offered "It's just like one that Steve McQueen wore in the 60's". Remarkably she said it with a straight face... the sheister!



That evening Burt and I met for drinks at Frolic Room. This would be his first and only stop of the evening. He'd been working steadily and was exhausted. I suspected medical marijuana played a significant role in his condition. Burt is ten to twelve years younger than I. Yet he was the one who went home at... like 9:30pm. I hereby request that all refer to him by his proper name "Lady Burt".

Although Burt did go home early he left me with an excellent suggestion... Jumbo's Clown Room. Jumbo's has all the accouterments of a classic hometown strip joint without nudity. What customers (both women and men) get are young, nubile, tattooed rockabilly chicks and goth girls pole dancing in bikinis. The place was packed and it was rockin'! To my eternal chagrin no photography was allowed.



On Saturday. July 31st I drove to Las Vegas. However before leaving the L.A. area I made one crucial stop. Nearby Whittier, CA is home to Oceanic Arts. If you are opening a Polynesian restaurant, contact Oceanic Arts. If you are designing a movie or TV set with a tropical theme, contact Oceanic Arts. If you are outfitting your cramped NYC apartment with bamboo and tikis, contact Oceanic Arts. If you are having a backyard luau and need a couple of extra leis, contact Oceanic Arts. No project is too big or small. Oceanic Arts has what you need!

Medical Marijuana And Lounge Music

The drive to L.A. on Thursday was pretty awful. What should have taken a couple of hours took closer to three. There was plenty of traffic to go around. Over the last several weeks I'd become accustomed to flat, straight, and barely occupied roads. Driving had become quite a meditative experience. However, I-5 (aka known as "The 5") between San Diego and Los Angeles was far too chaotic and energetic for my taste. I'd driven much greater distances but this short trip sapped my energy. At long last I reached my hotel then hooked up with my friend Burt.

Burt is yet another in a long line of old friends I've reconnected with during my travels. We worked together at Court TV in NYC before he relocated to L.A. to further pursue stand-up comedy. He is quite the colorful character. He's the only person I know of who has spent paychecks on cocaine and hookers. His wit remains sharp and honest. He informed me I couldn't stay in his smallish studio because I "don't have a vagina". He also declared he'd probably be back in his native Brooklyn were it not for medical marijuana. Burt couldn't hide his glee when speaking on the matter. He'd go to a doctor complaining of "stress" (or some such nonsense)... receive his medical marijuana documentation... then hit the local dispensary as needed... amazing!

Around the corner from his apartment we grabbed a bite to eat at Molly's Charbroiled Burger House (known affectionately as "Molly's"). Molly's has been an L.A. institution since 1929. I tasted history and two bacon-chili-cheese dogs... both were delicious! Afterward, we took a stroll to Hollywood Blvd. and one of Burt's favorite watering holes... Frolic Room. Most drinking establishments in the neighborhood are modern and trendy whereas Frolic Room is a throwback to a bygone era. It's small and dimly lit with a distinct art deco feel... very old and very cool. We stayed for a bit but after a drink or two I was burning with tiki fever. One of the finest tiki bars in L.A. (or anywhere for that matter) is Tiki Ti on Sunset Blvd. Ray Buhen had been mixing tropical drinks in the city since the 1930's. In April of 1961 he opened Tiki Ti. Many Polynesian themed bars and restaurants have come and gone but in 2010 Tiki Ti continues to thrive. Ray has passed but his family dutifully continues the tradition. Now, most tiki drinks are rum based but a few contain tequila. I was sitting near the bartender when someone ordered just such a libation. As he ever so slowly poured the tequila (the bottle was topped with a bull's head) he bellowed "Toro, toro, toro"!!! Then all the customers, on cue, followed suit... repeating the phrase over and over... adding drum rolls, clapping and laughter. The din builds and builds until the drink is completed. Clearly this was an experienced Tiki Ti crowd.



Burt went home a bit early but I had one more stop that evening... Dresden Room. Dresden Room has been a Hollywood landmark for over sixty years. It gained widespread notoriety after being prominently featured in the 1996 hit film "Swingers". Filled with dark wood and leather... Dresden Room is a haven of swank. However, on this night I was not there for ambiance. I was there to see Marty and Elaine. They've been playing lounge versions of jazz standards and pop tunes there for the last twenty nine years. On this night I was treated to classics like "Stormy Weather" (my request), a Donna Summer cover, and a Carpenters medley. Their music is exquisitely, delightfully cheesy. I loved every second of it! During a break I had the good fortune to meet them and discovered they were utterly sweet and charming. Actually, everyone I came in contact with was terrific. The bartender, Johnny, had been working in L.A. for years... the last fifteen at Dresden Room. He was warm, engaging, and tirelessly cheerful. We exchanged histories and became fast friends. I did buy a couple of drinks but at one point he took the cash I had on the bar and shoved it towards me... refusing to accept it. I didn't pay for anything afterward. As I was leaving he gave me a big hug (as did the waitress... which was really awesome!).



Celebrities have been known to frequent Dresden Room and even perform. This evening did not disappoint. A woman left her seat at the bar, stood with Marty and Elaine and began to sing. I looked at her and thought "It sure looks and sounds like her" but didn't fully trust my eyes and ears. But it was her... Chrissie Hynde from The Pretenders. Their first record (from '79 or '80) was such an important part of my musical landscape. Back then I was transitioning from Led Zeppelin and Aerosmith to The Ramones, Devo, and well, The Pretenders. It was such a treat to see one of my heroes in such an intimate setting.

Mai Tai's And Good Friends... Not A Bad Day!

Health restored, I arrived in San diego ready for action. The first order was to make official the drive from the East Coast to West Coast... by dipping my tootsies in the Pacific Ocean. I spent the afternoon at Mission Beach eating weird California burritos and cruising the boardwalk before taking a leisurely stroll along the shoreline. Even with a few screechy kids and several unfortunate beachwear choices threatening to distract it was a pleasant and relaxing afternoon.

In recent weeks I'd become painfully aware that my cross country jaunt was woefully deficient with regards to Mai Tai consumption. A circumstance rectified that very evening at Bali Hai. San Diego's premier establishment for Polynesian cuisine and tropical drinks. This blog focuses a great deal on gluttony and off the beaten path adventure. The most rewarding experiences however have been the reconnecting with friends. My Facebook buddies may recall that earlier this year I traveled to Istanbul to visit my friends Shawn and Sevgi. They met at a dog park in NYC, fell in love, got married, and moved to Sevgi's native Turkey. They invited all their friends to visit... and perhaps were stunned when one actually turned up. They recently returned to the States and settled in San Diego. Our schedules had conflicts but they were gracious enough to meet me at Bali Hai for dinner. I got there early, ordered a sorely needed Mai Tai, and enjoyed panoramic views of the bay and downtown San Diego... at night it is a lovely sight to behold. During dinner they reminded me why I'd become so fond of them in the first place. Shawn is quick witted, caring, and fiercely loyal to his friends. Sevgi has a natural sweetness and warmth that can be rather disarming. I was happy to hear that San Diego has thus far been kind to their fortunes. The city is lucky to have them...



While every night is Saturday for this seasoned traveler, the employed segment of the population have schedules to maintain. This was Wednesday night and Shawn had to work the following day. We said our goodbyes... they headed home and I went in search of live music. A short drive from Bali Hai I hit a club where local rockabilly trio Rip Carson and the Carcinogenics were holding court. They played a great mix of originals and inspired cover tunes. An ideal end to a terrific day.

My Quadruple Bypass

After leaving Clarkdale on Tuesday I drove south to pick up I-8 West towards my ultimate destination... San Diego. After an hour or so I began feeling chest pains accompanied by dizzyness. A person's health is not something to be trifled with so I decided to seek medical attention. I immediately sped to Heart Attack Grill... the pride of Chandler, AZ. I teetered into the clinic and was met by Nurse DJ. She is an experienced and gifted health care professional who immediately diagnosed my condition. It was serious and required immediate attention. Before treatment began I was placed in a surgical gown and had an ID bracelet wrapped around my wrist. In the operating room I was informed I required Heart Attack Grill's most aggressive procedure... the quadruple bypass burger. The quadruple bypass burger consists of four 1/4 lb. cheeseburgers on a bun smeared with lard. The prospect frightened me but Nurse DJ was a great source of comfort. She assured me the quadruple bypass burger in conjunction with the unlimited French Fry bar (aka. "Flatliner" fries, they're cooked in pure lard) might be difficult to endure but ultimately would ensure the long term success of my hospitalization. Nurses are caregivers and she stayed with me throughout the ordeal. Bless her heart. During recovery I learned a couple of things about Heart Attack Grill's protocol. Any patient weighing in excess of 350 lbs. is treated for free... all day and every day. A patient who survives a triple or quadruple bypass burger is placed in a wheelchair and escorted to their car.

I was feeling fit as a fiddle! So good, in fact, that I opted not to use the provided state-of-the-art blood pressure machine. However before my release Dr. John, the chief Lardiologist, insisted on giving me a final examination.

Route 66 And Beyond

On Monday I left the wigwam and was back on Route 66... or in this case Interstate 40. Exit signs along the way indicate whether there is a piece of the old road available for driving. Pull off the road... drive along Route 66... and perhaps sing the old nugget "(Get Your Kicks On) Route 66". Had I company in the car I would certainly have refrained from the latter. However I was solo and therefore belted out loungey, albeit off key renditions. It was a horror show!

One remaining stronghold of Route 66 is the Jackrabbit Trading Post. It was built in 1949 and the original sign is still in place. The sign is an iconic symbol for lovers of "The Mother Road". They sell a wide variety of memorabilia, American Indian jewelry, and snacks. I spoke with the current owner who said it's been in his family's possession since the mid 1960's. He was another in a long line of friendly folks I've encountered in recent weeks.



Despite the amount of research devoted to this journey surprises abound. After leaving the Jackrabbit I was heading west on I-40 towards my friend Laura's house. Cruising along I noticed a billboard for Meteor Crater. Just a few minutes from the interstate, Meteor Crater is the most well known, best preserved meteorite crater on Earth. About 50,000 years ago (which makes it quite young... as craters go) a meteorite measuring approximately 150 feet crashed into the Arizona desert. The impact created a crater nearly one mile across, 2.4 miles in circumference and more than 550 feet deep. Being the boss of the road I decided there was time to check it out. It is a mightily impressive sight.



Not so impressive... quite sad really... was Twin Arrows, AZ. Here is yet another example of the interstate system laying waste to the culture and uniqueness of Route 66. Although quite well known to students of Route 66 Twin Arrows is literally a fossil of a bygone era. The Twin Arrows Trading Post and adjoining diner have been abandoned for years and fallen into horrific disrepair. The only part of the town which has been preserved are a pair of giant arrows (easily visible from the highway). Like the sign at the Jackrabbit Trading Post the arrows are iconic symbols.



It was getting to be late in the afternoon. It was time to leave Route 66 and head south to Clarkdale, AZ and Laura's house. She suggested taking the more scenic route through the Coconino National Forest. Not since the early days of this trip driving through the magnificent hills of West Virginia have I been so stricken by nature's beauty. Although alone in the car I was once again compelled to call out "Oh my God", "I can't believe this" and the like. This was the southwest and unlike the lushness of West Virginia the Coconino National Forest had spectacular warmth and ruggedness.



Upon arriving at Laura's house I thanked her profusely for the suggestion. Years ago Laura and I met through mutual friends. We didn't see too much of each other during the year but usually got to hang out a bit during the Christmas holidays. Several years ago she sold her apartment in Brooklyn and purchased a house in Clarkdale. It was built around 1930 in the first area to be developed in town. It's mostly been outfitted with furniture and artwork purchased at thrift stores and yard sales. The furniture having a distinct 1950's, 1960's aesthetic. She has excellent taste... no junk anywhere. There are a few remnants of her fondness for New York (I spotted an ashtray from the 1964 New York World's Fair). As a whole her home conveys a kind of unselfconscious hipness I greatly admired. As unfathomable as it sounded to this Manhattanite, when Laura goes out she never locks her door... it isn't necessary. We sat on her porch and chatted. Mostly updating each other on our recent histories before squeezing in a bit of gossip (gossip which shall not be recounted here). We went to dinner, had a few beers and gossiped just a wee bit more. It was really quite lovely.

Visiting Laura was a last minute addition to my itinerary. I'm glad there was time to swing by and visit. She makes for good company...